Nah, just thought I should continue writing or typing or whatever this is because else I will forget what it feels like and I'm not going to let that happen. Love the sound of my fingers ticking on the keyboard way too much to only use it for schoolwork..
Anyway, "Apprehension". Beside the meaning I thought was the only meaning of the word, there are more. One of them is "the fear or anxiety over what may happen".
I guess it is no surprise that this particular noun fits right in my train of thoughts I have every day when there is no more people, random sites like 9GAG or movies to keep me busy and distracted. Because what may happen indeed? Isn't it always been about the fear of the expected, rather than the fear of the unexpected? I mean come on, how can one possibly fear the unexpected when the word itself means not expected, hence you didn't know it could happen. If you don't know it can or will happen, how are you supposed to fear it? Of course it may be said "expect the unexpected" but that just makes it more expected, and less unexpected, for which reason you know it can happen (or may happen, for that matter) and are able to fear it. So whatever I'm afraid of happening -and that sure is a lot-, it can't possibly be worse than my own imagination. Given the fact that my mind doesn't particularly miss the ability to imagine the strangest things, it's not really a comforting thought but it's the best I can come up with at the moment. Still following what I'm trying to say?
Most probable I'm giving myself a lot of stuff to think about this evening, but at least that's better than worry about the other things going on in my little head. Thinking about the possibilities of the fear (so trying to apprehend the apprehension, o my..) rather than the actual fearing itself seems so much better and will most likely keep my focus (sadly for just some hours) shifted from the one strange subject to the other. Oh well, enough to think and a too great amount to type about on here so this will be it for tonight, thanks for reading! ;) -that is, if anyone is just as bored as me right now and actually decides to read this..-