I have never been an analyzer, and I will probably never be one. When being put in a group of persons, I will watch however, those people very carefully. Fascinated by other ways of living on this world, I sense people who are interesting to me, and most of the time, I start looking, or more likely said, noticing. I can sit in a crowd, staring outside at something other than human beings (think of the sky or probably any kind of nature) while perfectly aware of where several people move their selves to. Their actions, their words, their expressions, are stuck in my mind. Without looking, without even wanting to, I could tell you what has been. and when. I don't know why I can do this, I don't know if I should use it or fight against it, but mostly I don't want it. It sounds creepy, even to myself, so how on earth would other people think I am like? Their way of living fascinates me, true, but it also frightens me. Afraid of seeing too much, when I make eye contact, I usually keep my distance and choose to glance into the beyond.
You have people who don't care about all the problems in life, and just live it. I'm jealous of this kind, as they seem to be in peace with whatever will happen to them. What I would give not to have to philosophize about life and its strange subjects attached to it. Don't get me wrong, I believe it's good to philosophize once in a while, but I can't seem to stop wishing for things I will never have, such as mental peace ;)
You have many people who pretend to be of the type above, while silently agonized with thoughts and questions, every night as they want to fall asleep. For them it is hard to keep pretending, but apparently it's of such high importance, that anything is worth the fight.
As I have said before, I'm not good at analyzing people, and therefore I will not tempt myself to do so. For the many people I have seen in my still quite short life, not many have made it to such a point, that I might consider looking in the eyes to learn more. I'll always be afraid to speak, or judge people, at least directly. I believe anyone deserves the truth, and clarity is one of my favorite things, but as anyone can decipher from anything I write, I don't exactly meet my own wishes, as I am one of the most vague and answer avoiding people I know. LOL, what the hell am I even typing in here, it's starting to look like my self-observing essay for Religious studies back in my high school XD
Anyway, what I had in mind before I started to wander of my very paths of logic, was that some people appear to be free of the many philosophical questions and different conclusions about life at the same time. When I start thinking, I first start thinking about what I would tell people if they would ask me what I was thinking about. When I thought that through I start again as I could be asked why and what I am thinking the very next moment. And again and again and again. After some 15 minutes of that vicious cycle I would actually start thinking about what I want to be thinking about. Loads of thoughts cross my mind, but for the most I choose not to think about them, and only a select group of thoughts are allowed in my mind. When I have decided what I'm going to think, I start thinking of solemnly one of those subjects until my mind virtually explodes with possible explanations and answers. Everything I come up with, is immediately opposed by at least five different things, which in their way are opposed with again five things apiece. And then another endless cycle begins. Plus, just like right now, I always forget the main reason why I do things as soon as I start doing them, and begin to jabber about things until I finally realise what useless things I've actually done. So before it all turns bad and unstoppable, I cease writing here and start to think about what I'm going to be thinking ;)