Anyway, my beloved country of course lets me experience the preparations of Hell every year. No matter how I dress, no matter how many layers I wear, it's cold. It's cold not only outside, it's also cold inside. Except in my own little room. Just a second ago I was happily sitting on my chair, some 22 degrees or preferably even more. Then I looked outside and my hope of any coming natural heat vanished in front of my eyes. Snow. Outside my little cocoon of warmth, the temperature drops a degree or 20. Last week I was still wishing for days to continue while of course still being cold but at least it was something, today I'm convinced mother earth has decided to kill spring.
For some apparent reason, humanity has brought up such an amount of Karma that nature has decided to take away our beloved spring. No more enjoying pick-nicks as soon as the sun starts shining, no more cycling around and being mesmerised by the fact that once again, our bodies have shadows. No. It's not gonna happen anymore. Winter will continue to rule this little country until suddenly with no announcement whatsoever, summer starts. Or the remaining shell of what once was summer. Probably it will be a rip-off version of spring and autumn will come right up but somewhere deep inside I hope there will be enough Vitamin D for me to not soak up because it's still too cold and there is no way I'm leaving my warm room anyway.
Some day, I will look back to this day and think, it was all part of the fun. Knowing seasons is a privilege as it brings back the joy for leaves in the trees and freshly cut grass. Without seasons, without taking that wonderful joy away from the people, they don't know what they can miss. Some day I'll live in a country without seasons or at least ones I won't really notice changing. Some day I'll probably not miss this but I know how to appreciate the sun.
I'll look back and laugh, somewhere in an exotic place with new people, new cultures, new languages. I'll say something to myself in Dutch for the first time in many years, and be glad I still can. I'll be glad for it, and then just continue my life far away from where I'm now. Maybe I'll be curled up in my chair just like I'm now, in a room of 23 degrees just like I'm now. When I'll look out of the window though, I'll see not the side of a brick wall misted out by falling snowflakes, but hopefully some grass, trees, a lake or the sea, lighted by the sun causing shadows.
The one thing I miss most of this all, is knowing that when you look down, you'll see your shadow. Accompanying you everywhere you go, a dear friend I greet every spring. A dear friend who had left me all winter, all alone, yet returns every year to have my back.