I've decided to cheat, and I sincerely feel ashamed to say that on the third day already. It's just that my phone refuses to acknowledge the fact that the beautiful, crazy and rare words I originally wanted to discuss actually exist, whereas my still-not-so-compact dictionary is waiting there while staring at me, mocking and containing all these gorgeous words which would be a waste to ignore. From now on, I'll pick a random place on those pages and browse through the particular letter to find a nice word to talk about. After all, who could ever resist not looking for the exact meaning of words like rufiyaa (the basic unit of money of the Maldives) and fo'c's'le (apparently an official variant spelling of "forecastle" (which means the front part of a ship below the deck for all ye ignorant scurvy landlubbers, Arr!))
Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I chose a word, not with my phone this time, but with "The world's most trusted dictionary", as it haughtily likes to call itself. This day's word: Curmudgeon. I had never heard of it and for all my fellow ignorant-of-the-world people here, it means a cantankerous person. Not that I had heard of that word either but it explains it perfectly, if I may say so.. Could have been a nice alternative for the word I chose today. Nonetheless, what it really means is a bad tempered or rude person (sometimes old) full of stubborn ideas. A bit like those old cranky grandfathers you laugh at in series or movies. The people who will steal your entire joy of life when you're not looking, with their old-fashioned manners and continuous rambling about "the youth not being decent any more". Who cares? I mean at least the pirates stole from you with class.
Seriously, what is worse? A gold-stealing pirate or a rambling curmudgeon? I really believe the world would be a better place without the last, and of course without the first too but leastwise they sing and keep funny parrots and wear gold earrings along with an eye patch, is that so bad? Not even to mention the fact that because of the decrease in pirates the entire globe is warming up (and don't you dare saying it is because of the greenhouse gasses, I'll kick your ass)! It's a commonly accepted fact that since 1800 the number of pirates is shrinking, and natural disasters including global warming and hurricanes are increasing. We should all unite and bring back the spirit of piracy at once, it's the only way to ever free ourselves of the danger that's darkening the bright skies of our future.
For all you people that don't believe in Pastafarianism, it's not to late to convert yourself now as you are very welcome in the loving embrace of His Noodly Appendage. If not, have a nice time believing curmudgeons are indeed better than pirates (in fact, not admitting the obvious truth here makes you at least half a curmudgeon yourself) while carrying the weight of knowing you are to blame for not helping the earth restore its balance and therefore the end of the world as we know it. Have a nice time indeed!